Tiredly Hopeful, Hopefully Tired
What a beautiful early spring day! It snowed all day Saturday, and then that melted on Sunday. Last night the snow fell again, but it's supposed to be 62 degrees and sunny tomorrow. You gotta love Colorado weather. It's as ever-changing as the mood of adoptive parents enduring The Wait!
A month or so ago, our agency reached out to those of us waiting to be matched, placed, and kept up all night with a kiddo and asked how they could best support us through this period of no news. We all responded with differing ideas and they settled on quarterly meetings at the agency and monthly calls to check in with each of the 8 couples individually. Our first monthly call was last night. We were open and honest with them and were able to share that we're just plain tired of this wait. Sure our moods change, but lately it's just getting old. Admittedly, it does feel good to be wavering between hopeful and impatient rather than hopeful and angry, but it is still tiresome to be waiting.
On some level, we know you can all relate to this most simple, stripped down experience of the entire adoption process. Remember waiting for the response from a job interview you know you nailed, or for your boarding group to be called to get on a plane bound for a fun vacation? I know you've at least experienced watching the clock until the end of the work day when you're headed away for the weekend. Time never passes so slowly as when you're excited about the beginning of something wonderful and life-changing. There's no way around it. Waiting is boring and aggravating and makes you feel like a whiny 3 year old inside who just wants what you want now, darn it, flailing fists, stomping feet and all.
Spring is the time of year when it seems that all things are possible with a little effort. Before long we'll be basking in a fully grown garden, reaping the benefits of what we've sown in the storms of late winter. As snow melts, we look around and start to identify the next yard project, or trail to hike, or outdoor event to attend. It's definitely a time to live with intention and purpose to make our dreams come true!
But inside, we just wait. We spend a little time lying on the floor in the nursery, gazing up at the stars on the ceiling and get lost in our meditation to the sounds of owls hooting in a windy forest (courtesy of Josh's interpretation of the need for white noise in a baby's room). We want to be able to make something happen, but in the case of The Wait, there's nothing we can do. Our responsibility in this part of the process is to be patient.
Oh to be virtuous! http://youtu.be/vXNBH7S8YqY
Distraction is sometimes more of an effective tactic than just twiddling thumbs. The best distracting thought we gained from our call with the agency last night was that they are working with more birth mothers. None of them are ready to look at profile books of waiting parents yet, but they are at least seeking support through a difficult time in their lives. If they've walked through the agency's door, there's more of a chance that they are considering an adoption plan than if they hadn't. So, I'll focus on these prospective birth mothers and hope that they have found a peaceful place where they can make the best decision for themselves and their babies, whatever that may be.
Peace and patience hover around the outskirts of our psyche right now since we are still very hopeful that we're very tired soon.
