We share this as our collective favorite time of year. We were both born in late autumn/early winter and I think the onset of autumn just reminds us of fun celebrations to come with spooky costumes, happy birthdays, yummy pumpkin and pecan pies and warm family gatherings. Autumn was one of Josh's key talking points in convincing Tiffany to move to Colorado. Dry heat in summer was enough of a reason for her really, but crisp autumn air allowing a bundled up day inside with a book and piles of leaves all over the ground were icing on the cake.
Obviously, we had a different vision for how this autumn would go. We had planned out how to keep up with putting the garden to bed for winter during nap times. And, how on earth were we going to put up the year's harvest while mixing formula and changing diapers? We also dreamed of rocking a new baby girl as she gazed out her window at the turning Elm trees and hoped to feed her just enough to fatten her up so she could fit into her new holiday-themed outfits sent from loving relatives far away.
It's a peculiar thing to be a in a funk. Nothing stops and waits for you to recover. Crops grow, but give in to the first frost before you can muster the energy to process them. Trees turn and leaves fall. Work piles up and the inbox refills quickly. Chickens molt and leave feathers flying everywhere (that was for you, Shannon). Friends have parties that you just can't attend because there's only one thing on your mind.
It takes everything in me to start each day and hope for a smile or two to find us. The good news is that as I pass the nursery on the way downstairs, I don't feel that anticipated pang of sadness. It turns out we did a lovely job of creating a space of peace. I know that if I don't go in there each day, a time will come when I don't want to. So, I force myself to take a few steps inside. When I do, all of the hope and love and togetherness that we shared in there, before moving to Helltown, California for six weeks, comes rushing back. It is a really awesome room, if we do say so ourselves. Sure the paintings are cool and the decor is spot on for our style, but it's more than that. The energy in that room is calm and positive. I continue to draw on it to help me find a path forward. And for the next few days, while the leaves hang on a little longer, this is the beautiful view that greets us as we venture in.
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| Though I have to say, I am more at peace when there isn't a squirrel waving its tail at me as it gnaws the branches. |
Oh, and a little Bailey's helps sometimes too. Let's all raise a glass to TaJ having a very different blog post to write when next autumn rolls around.
