What a Difference a Day Makes

At this time yesterday, I was writing a very different blog post. I felt all frenzied inside. I was neurotically staying busy with work, checking emails, looking out the window, opening and closing the fridge, walking up and down the stairs to do laundry, just generally moving. The post included a video of 1000 cuckoo clocks going off at different times around the world. That is what my mind was feeling, just cuckoo.

"The Scream" by Edvard Munch

Finally, I had the sense to reach out for a little support. Josh met me at a favorite restaurant for some cheap eats and loving smiles at happy hour, our placement supervisor with the agency wrote me a list of phrases to meditate on, I walked through the neighborhood in the shadow of a beautiful sunset complete with neon clouds and enjoyed an hour and a half on the mat in the peaceful environment of our local yoga studio. It all happened at just the right moment for me to be open to a change in mood and I walked home grounded in my soul, feeling happy and grateful for the village it took to calm my busy mind.

It doesn't take the uncertainty of the adoption process to plummet people into the emotions I was feeling. Sometimes those incessantly annoying busy thoughts just won't go away. I know you can all relate. Books and courses and therapy and drinks and love have been poured into reminding us about how to keep our mind, body and soul at peace. I can offer the admission that when you're in the thick of it, it seems that none of those tools will do the trick. It took a small, persistent and peaceful army to snap me out of it last night. The crazies will be back, of that I'm sure. However, for now, I'm feeling a lot less like the image above and a lot more like this:


Just look at all those happy, bright rays of hope coming out of me!