Despite having nothing to report regarding progress towards expanding our family, our minds are still focused on what our life will look like when our youngest members finally join us. After all, we are in many ways pregnant. I don't know any expectant parents who don't spend some time each day trying to learn about how they'll shepherd a young mind through this crazy world. With the type of news that bombards us each day, it's terrifying to consider what we're up against. I received this reminder of one of the many threats from one of my dads the other day and thought I'd pass it along.
~
A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.
As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.
If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.
As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.
If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.
Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)
Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home - not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our long time visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol but the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.
I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked...And NEVER asked to leave.
More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first.
Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures. We just call him "TV."
~
Most of you know that our exposure to "popular" culture is pretty limited, by our own doing. We enjoy what we enjoy and it rarely involves a trend. Sure, in some circles our addiction to Downton Abbey is well-understood, but not to most of you. And, the only news we watch is the News Hour on PBS since they don't scream at us, or at each other. Occasionally, we'll check in with the weather in the morning before work just to give us a fighting chance to don the right coat in these subzero temperatures. It's not that we begrudge the choices of others to watch what they want, but it does seem like people forget what they generally stand for when it comes time to turn on the TV. We feel that it's important for our actions to back up our values, so our TV and movie selections are pretty tame. It brings a bit of relief to think that our kids will skip some exposure to the TV drama and just soak in the drama of real life, which is generally entertaining enough to captivate us.
Of course, when they're older and buying their own movie tickets, we might have to concede. After all, I wasted a lot of money on gruesome tales at the box office before I realized that real life was scarier. We'll do our best to give them a foundation of understanding what is really important and then let them make their own decisions. I think this is what most parents really intend to do, but we have to make sure not to include the box in the corner, or hanging on the wall these days, as a co-parent speaking on our behalf when we're not in the room.
