There's Hope
It's not my news to share, so I'll be short on details, but we did learn that the first of the seven couples in our group was placed with a beautiful (we've seen the photographic evidence on this one) baby boy last week. We couldn't be more relieved that this seemingly unattainable dream really can come true. Sure we have heard of stories like theirs before, but the reality for those of us who are just a year into this journey was looking dismal as we dragged the group along through the muck of our emotional 2012. Luckily, 2013 has already turned out to be much more positive for the couples waiting to welcome home new additions to their families through adoption with our agency.
I've wondered how this news would make us feel when it finally came. The beauty of our group is that we really do feel each other's devastating losses and tremendous gains. Josh and I have been so lovingly supported through the last six months, but still I only hoped I could be happy for the couple who first shared this exciting news after what we have been through. I'm thrilled now to know that I am truly elated for them!
All at the same time, I feel so lucky to be able to share in the joy of our group members as their families expand to more than two and I feel a little pang of contempt towards fate that it doesn't go this smoothly for all of us. It's not envy I'm writing about. It's a knowledge that each of the couples in our group is deserving of the most peaceful, loving and genuinely real journey into parenthood that ever was. It's an understanding through gritted teeth that it doesn't always happen that way. And, it's a full heart of appreciation that now we see that it can.
The combination of the timely meeting of a new friend (see previous post) and a decent enough memory to remember the Tiffany I know and love in myself has resulted in some positive feelings today. It's been a while since I could describe my state of being as contentment, but today that is where I am. No promises that you won't read more frustration in the future as this roller coaster ride continues up, and then down sometimes, but today is a half full day! And that is what I'll be grateful for tonight as we lay down to sleep.
Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COE6YHIK-pU
