Keeping God in Stitches

Okay so we're not religious folks, though it would be nice to have something to blame for all of this, besides ourselves for signing up to be subjected to the whims of the universe. Woody Allen is credited with saying "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." We're doing our best to keep the eternal being doubled over.

As the Christmas holiday approaches, I am losing track of all of the failed plans made for this year's season of celebration. Down to the wire, with just a few hours to go, things continue to change on us. As a perpetually busy minded planner type, this is just getting ridiculous. I could have gotten the hint months ago, but since I'm stubborn at creating my own destiny, I just keep asking for more. Finally, I'm screaming "UNCLE!" I give up. Whatever is going to happen, will happen.

Last Christmas was very hard on both of us. We reasoned that tears on Christmas day, after a lovely time with family, were just not acceptable. So, we decided to let go of the pain of our losses and pursue the path of adoption. Let the merriment begin!

• In July, dreams of a three month old baby girl staring up at our gigantic tree of lights in December warmed our hearts. In October, we forfeited that plan.
• In November, our taste buds were preparing for some local food and village soccer games in northern Thailand on Christmas day.
• By the end of the month, we were letting that plan go to make room for a baby boy to cuddle who would be just days old.
• Earlier this month, we put that fantasy to rest and got ready for some familiar family time.
• Two days ago, we learned that one set of parents had dinner plans with others for Christmas (though the invitation was extended to us as well) and Tiffany's local set of parents were heading to New York with the Red Cross for a continued commitment to help the people affected by hurricane Sandy. Foiled again.

Today, we made yet more plans (I did mention that stubborn factor, right?) to head to Tiffany's parents' house, even in their absence, and enjoy a couple of days away from home and the dreams of what's to come and planned to do nothing except spend time in the hot tub, under the stars. Unfortunately, that plan has been turned on its head too.

As I have already written, I surrender. I'm not going to commit to anything. I'm not expecting anything. I'm cozy by a fire and the weather is getting cooler. In this present moment, I'm comfortable with no anticipation that this feeling with change. In fact, it can only get better since the schemer in me won't let it go and I now have every intention to get up and make some hot chocolate and Baileys. Ahhh, the good life of absolute stillness. Let's see how long I can let this last.

...darn it! No milk, no hot chocolate. That's it, I'm done!