Relationship Rules

Ask any old boyfriend, or Josh for that matter, I've never been good at following those dumb rules about 'when to call' and 'how long to wait for a returned message' and 'how to be coy'. It just feels like a waste of time. I have to say, it's been pretty refreshing to not have to worry about that phase of new relationship dos and don'ts for the past twelve years. And now, enter the days before meeting our birth mother.

More than one friend has pegged this phase of our adoption correctly by referencing those early days of wondering just how much to demonstrate that you're interested. Since July 5th, each day has been spent trying to think if we have anything meaningful, but not too pushy, but sweet and genuine to write to T about. Initially, almost every text generated a returned phone call. I sparked the exchange every few days or so and our conversations were long, meaningless and carefree.

Now that the inevitable is upon us, our communication is short, to the point and mostly through texting and emoticons (which I have to continually research to avoid misinterpreting what they mean and ultimately how she's feeling - Luddite that I am). It's getting harder and harder to come up with something new to inquire about to try to spark a conversation, and sometimes my seemingly brilliant electronic taps on her shoulder go unanswered altogether. As any new significant other (dare we call them 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend') will tell you, what you are capable of imagining when they don't call back can be quite discouraging. And then, they call. You learn that their phone dropped in the water, or they forgot to charge it, or they were cooking dinner, or they just fell asleep after an exhausting day.

If we're supposed to base our expectations on past history, one of those is the reason for the silence this evening. I no longer worry about the lack of communication from T, I just get more curious until she calls back. And, I know that she will.

What I do know about today is that T was supposed to meet with the new CA agency. Hopefully that meeting went well and hopefully she feels good about the next steps. Most hopefully, she fills us in on the details when her phone is charged, or her kids are fed, or she's simply comfortable to do so. But if not, we'll be here, picking out different outfits for that 'first date' or trying to think of a clever, but genuine, way to express our affection the next time she texts.

Everything with her still seems to end in some form of 'lol' or 'lmao', so I'm :0) with that.