What To Expect When You're Expecting

Isn't that a presumptuous tone? Any of you who have had kids, through any means, are fully aware of the irony encompassed in that clever title. Still, entire industries are built up around convincing us that we can prepare for the journey into parenthood. Parents-to-be get the impression that if they buy enough, or read enough, or ask enough questions, they'll be ready. Then the journey begins.

It's a brand new twist around every turn. Maybe you lose that baby, there could be twins in there, surprise you're having a girl instead of a boy and despite all of your reading on a natural childbirth you're having an emergency c-section after a round of pitocin. If nothing that dramatic happened to you, consider whether or not you looked, felt or experienced all that you thought you would. No one can tell me that they know what I should expect when I'm expecting. But, I read the books and watch the movies anyways.

We watched What to Expect When You're Expecting tonight in our hotel room. If you're just starting to read our blog, skip the backlog and watch the movie. We've experienced some of almost every story in the film, and it's been a long and bumpy ride. Sometimes it's even been as funny!

We signed papers with the California agency today. This means they can move forward with getting ready to process our adoption once she's born. It was an exciting step to feel like we were doing something to progress.

However, we learned later that T is having a hard week. She is having second thoughts about our plans to meet ahead of time. We're just going to have to take this one day at a time and at her pace.

Josh and I take a lot of evening walks in our neighborhood. Sometimes, one of us will get an urge to test our trust in each other and grab the other person's arm, close our eyes and ask them to guide us on our path. Now if you knew our neighborhood and the century old, tree-root-raised slate sidewalks we have around us, you'd know that this is a big test of trust. The person with their eyes closed always slows way down and puts their hands out for caution. Eventually, we have to open our eyes because we just know that the sighted person will lead us over a bump without warning and we'll fall flat on our face. We're never where we thought we were before we gave in and looked around. Try it. It will test your nerves.

That is what this is like. We are in the dark and feeling our way forward, tentatively. We have each other's arms to hold onto and that's our focus. Eventually, we'll open our eyes and realize that we can jump back into our old pace and keep moving. Until then, we're just easing along.